


Eggnog

by Spirit_catcher



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-28 21:57:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13912992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spirit_catcher/pseuds/Spirit_catcher
Summary: Oh God, I forgot this was brought up via Farfalla all those years ago...I can't believe I'm posting this here. Maybe by posting it here I'll get it off my deviantArt account...





	Eggnog

"No, Mr Spock, there is nothing wrong with this eggnog", Kirk said patiently. 

He, Spock, and McCoy were at the crew Christmas party, McCoy having just been successful in getting an alcoholic – albeit festive – drink down his favourite Vulcan's throat.

"It just – tastes – rather like… what you're thinking of", Kirk continued. "Completely different consistency, though", he added, downing his own drink.

Spock's eyebrow jumped as he comprehended the only way his captain could recognise both the taste and his first officer's mistake. His eyes widened considerably when he realised what sort of experience this must have entailed for this to be possible.

"Indeed", was all he could give in answer.

Trying not to laugh, the captain asked, a little too lightly, "So, Mr Spock… it seems you experimented in your youth."

Spock was determined to also recover just as fast, if not faster.

"Indeed. On my own, I might add. And may I ask how you also recognise the similarity, Captain? You could not have found this out on your own, of course."

"Well, uh, I also – in my youth, that is – tried, well – "

He took a gulp of the drink in his hand, realised too late that it, too, was eggnog, choked, and strode away to get a napkin before he could embarrass himself further.

Spock and McCoy watched him go.

"Perhaps you should go with him," Spock commented lightly, "in the likely case he consumes that drink the wrong way again."

He inwardly grimaced at his choice of words.

"What the bloody hell was that all about?" McCoy asked, speaking into his glass but keeping keen eyes on Spock, still his usual figure of dignity.

"Let us just say our good captain is rather widely experienced in a number of recreational fields. Or perhaps rather more so than I first thought from my observations of the social and cultural aspects of Terran mankind."

McCoy did not appear to have followed. He raised his drink to his mouth yet again, lowered it, then made to drink from it once more.

Spock intentionally chose that moment as a time to iterate and expand on what he'd said.

"As a doctor, I'm sure you are familiar with the theoretical structure and function of the Vulcan male gamete, and not the more tangible characteristics that come to be known through the partaking of – "

McCoy spurted eggnog everywhere.

"What?! You mean he has – you mean he has given – "

"I take it from that disjointed line of verbalisation that you understand the significance of my words, Doctor?"

They both knew he needn't have asked; McCoy glared at the Vulcan, then turned to search out the mingling crowd for the back of his best friend, which he proceeded to eyeball. He had no problem with any of this, except when he stumbled across details!

"Not only does it seem you can drive a man to drink, but you can also put him off the stuff, too", he grumbled.

Spock made the slightly put-out expression only two people on board the entire ship could distinguish from his normal blank mask, and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't want to know, and yet I do…" the doctor mused, still staring across the room at the little of Kirk he could see. He snuck a sideways look at Spock, and his face cracked into a sly grin as his eyes raked the expressionless face.

"So… I take it that it wasn't you whom Jim – "

He got what he wanted: the look that flickered into life was a Vulcan blanch. He wasn't so smug as his favourite needling target walked away with more height and dignity than the country doctor would ever manage to possess. 

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to have this stuff ever again after this", he commented to himself. "Oh, well."

And with that he knocked back the rest of his eggnog, before thinking that all that was needed now was for those two to make the connection…

That event did at least seem a lot less far off than it had ten minutes ago, the southerner realised. Good old Vulcan biology…


End file.
